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SINGLENESS: A FOUNDATION FOR MARRIAGE…

All over the world, no one starts a house from the roof, every house begins with a foundation. Not withstanding, a house cannot be stronger than its foundation. In other words, your marriage is as good as the foundation you laid while single.

Singleness is not Idleness, rather, it is a time to prepare for your life. It is a beautiful moment which doesn’t repeat itself, as such it should be enjoyed and used wisely.

But, the irony of the matter is that, many singles are sick of singleness and they think marriage can heal their loneliness. This has made many to rush into marriage, while in marriage they try to figure out their singleness because they never took out time to discover who they are.

This is why, many get married only to find themselves trying to get out of the marriage because they are being choked up by what marriage presented to them.

NO SOLDIER LEARNS HOW TO FIGHT IN A BATTLE FIELD, HE WILL SURELY BE DEFEATED. WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT SINGLENESS BEFORE MARRIAGE..

1. KNOW WHO YOU ARE:
It all start with you knowing your identity. If you don’t know where you are going, you cant tell someone to follow you because you cant lead them to the appropriate direction. In other words, when you don’t know who you are, you will choose wrong., You will choose who you think you want in response to Who you think you are.

There is a vital need for you to know who you are and what you want in marriage. There is a need to set your priority right now that you are still single.

2. LOVE YOUR SELF: You can’t figure out how to love someone in marriage, when you have not figure out how to love yourself in singleness. Even Jesus commanded us to love ourselves first before loving others.
Matthew 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Many people have committed suicide in marriage because they where looking for others to love them. When their expectation is not meant, they feel unloved, rejected, low self esteem etc. This won’t be, if they have loved themselves first before loving others.
If you so much love your self, you wont look for the love of others to validate your existence.

3. YOUR SINGLENESS DEFINES YOUR MARRIAGE:
Your marriage is as good as your singleness. It is who you are as a single person what you will bring into marriage. E.g. If you refuse to deal with that hot temper of yours while single, that is how you will carry it into marriage. Your marriage is not different from who you are.

Therefore, while single, you have to live your life according to the kind of marriage you desire. Marriage does not transform you into and angel nor does it create a different world about you. You are who you are in Marriage.

4. MARRIAGE EXPOSES YOUR FLAWS
Marriage doesn’t improve your singleness, it exposes who you are. You can pretend all through your court ship but you can’t pretend with who you are going to spend the rest of your life with under same roof. Hence it is important to be who you’re during courtship so that when your partner spot out those flaws, both of you can work on them together.

5. MAXIMISE YOUR SINGLENESS.
Never pause your life because you’re waiting for marriage. Maximise your singleness. Get a life. You can go to school, learn a trade, do a vocational training etc. Make yourself an asset not a liability. Singleness is not idleness.

There are two types of singleness: Single (Whole) and Single again (Divorced, fraction) . The latter is what you shouldn’t wish for at all.

You can be happily single (whole) but it’s difficult to be happily single again (divorced). When divorced, the person becomes a fraction because a part of him/her has already been joined to another.

Single period is a phase that will soon pass away. So, lay a good foundation with it. Above all, there is no good foundation that can be laid aside Jesus.

Give your life to him, shun anything that is not in line with is word. Him alone can make your marriage to come to pass. Him alone is the strongest foundation you can build your marriage upon.

Dear friends, know that singleness is a GIFT. you ain’t looking for someone to complete you in marriage, nor someone to compete with you because you are WHOLE not a FRACTION.

Therefore, you only need someone to COMPLEMENT YOU. never mourn your singleness, it is a beautiful moment, manage it very well so you can end up in marriage as an ASSET not a LIABILITY.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY ERNEST

About myadvicelover

Singles, Marriage and Family Therapist At Believers' Galaxy. Pastor, Counselor and Teacher. Writer, Publisher, Blogger, Web designer and IT Specialist

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